Sunday, January 23, 2011

this week's stressor

I am emotional...very emotional. I've been on the verge of tears since Friday around noon. I know it'll pass, but right now I feel more hormonal than days after birth.

Jim's leave is finally over, and Cole will be heading to daycare on Monday. Don't get me wrong, I have full confidence in Heather, or daycare provider, and I'm sure Grandma Jeanne and Aunt Kathy will LOVE spending time with Cole, but I'm nervous. Very nervous. Cole has only been cared for by Mom and Dad. We know him, his needs, his nuances...I am filled with anxiety thinking about him being in the care of someone else.

My BIGGEST concern, and my major stressor is the fact that Cole STILL doesn't love taking a bottle. He will drink from a bottle, when he's absolutely starving, but he doesn't like it and it's not easy. He went from taking three bottles/day with Dad to taking two bottles/day and then waking up for a feeding in the middle of the night. My fear is he won't eat during the day and I'll be up half the night making up for that. I know it's not likely, but the boy is smart and I honestly wouldn't put it past him.

A part of me is flattered knowing he loves me and wants to nurse. In the beginning I was so concerned that he'd want to give up nursing when I went back to work. Now I'm faced with the exact opposite. I am hoping that he comes around after a few days in the hands of others. I am hoping he realizes that taking a bottle isn't so bad. I am hoping that his caregivers are patient enough and willing to put forth the time and persistance needed to feed this darling little boy.

Because of Cole's bottle boycott, I thought it might be a good time to introduce some solids. Dr. Pikna told us to wait until 5 months, but we're damn close. Friday night, I stirred up a bowl full of oatmeal and rice cereal and we gave it a try. He didn't love it. I wouldn't say he hated it either, it was just new to him. We'll be trying it again on Sunday and throughout the week so that he gets used to the texture and from eating off a spoon. I am not sure solids will make the feeding process easier or harder. Only time will tell.

I told Jim to give me a week...I'm hoping by next weekend my worries will be gone and Cole will be taking at least two bottles each day and loving cereal. Please...please.

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