|Daddy dressed me this morning.|
As much as that relieved me, selfishly it also made me a little sad inside...Cole was no longer 100% dependent on me. I know that sounds awful- yes I want Jim to be a part of this Cole's life and goodness knows it's nice that he can give him a bottle and allow me a break, but it was hard to let go of that.
I'd come home in the evenings and if Cole was fussy, Jim was quick to tell me the new way he liked to be held, or even that he didn't want to be held that much, just laid on the floor to kick around. He was doing to me, what I had done to him for the first 12 weeks. When you spend 9+ hours alone with this adorable little guy you figure him out. You get to know what he likes, doesn't like, when to be concerned by a squawk, and when the squeak just means he's talking.
I have to realize that I'm not missing out on my little guy's life. I'm allowing others to enjoy him along side me. Being the control freak that I am though, I just wish I was the first to be witnessing some of these events. The day is going to come when he rolls over for the first time or starts to crawl...what if I'm not there to witness those major milestones?
Now that I have a week under my belt, I can say I secretly enjoyed being back at work. Trust me when I say I'd MUCH RATHER be home snuggling with Cole, drinking coffee, and playing together, but my students really do bring joy to my life. My job, as demanding as it is everyday, really provides me with a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. It's probably good that I am on stage all day because it really makes the hours and days fly by.
|We miss you Mom!|